Wallpaper- a poem on mental illness

I wear my hurt on my body like wallpaper
Florals, textures and stripes
Inked and stuck down on skin.

Patterns I wonder if they are out of date
Trimmed and unfitting the wallpaper covers me
(It’s hard to breathe under a mask)

Eyes judging my beautiful tiger stripes
Cover your childrens eyes
Hope that one day they become humans instead of plasterboard.




I feel like I am falling in love, over and over again, every minute. I am submerged beneath waves of happiness that I can quite literally feel flowing over my body. I am perspiring and shaking. And although I am in blissful beautiful Euphoria, it’s agonising, painful, uncomfortable and frightening. 

Being at such extremes of mood means feeling out of control and spiralling. I’m not sure I’m in control of my limbs or speech. Things come as bursts or explosions rather than flows of water in streams. These rushes of speech can have consequences but when your manic: actions have no consequences. 

Time to stay up till 4 in the morning, I guess. 


I don’t know what to do without you

I don’t know what to say,

I don’t know how to talk to anyone,

Since you left last early May.
The daffodils were barely yellow,

The cornflowers barely blue,

You used to step on flowers,

But I know you’d love them too.
They keep asking me about you, 

Daffodils snapping at the stem, 

You’ve left me with so many secrets,

(I don’t know what to do with them). 
Next spring I’ll plant these daffodils, 

And they’ll grow so high, they’ll grow

Tall enough for you to see them,

Sunshine lighting every row.
There’s so much I want to tell you, 

But if you can hear this then I’ll say:

I’ve kept our flowers blooming,

Since you left last early May.