Manic. 

I feel like I am falling in love, over and over again, every minute. I am submerged beneath waves of happiness that I can quite literally feel flowing over my body. I am perspiring and shaking. And although I am in blissful beautiful Euphoria, it’s agonising, painful, uncomfortable and frightening. 

Being at such extremes of mood means feeling out of control and spiralling. I’m not sure I’m in control of my limbs or speech. Things come as bursts or explosions rather than flows of water in streams. These rushes of speech can have consequences but when your manic: actions have no consequences. 

Time to stay up till 4 in the morning, I guess. 

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2 thoughts on “Manic. 

  1. I don’t get manic, but when I’m hypomanic I still totally get the uncomfortable and agonizing part, even if I’m feeling “euphoric”. Like, I know my behavior is out of line but it’s so difficult to control. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Totally identify except the falling in love part. I’m asexual so never get that. Instead, I want to thank everyone for everything. I’m overflowing with gratitude. I want to write every company of every product I use and like. Everything else is the same and yeah, all actions are perfectly plausible right up till I come down and look at my bank account, relations with friends, and so forth. I hate mania. I’ve spent way too many years having to go back and apologize and try to explain why I said that, why i did this. The thing is, words once said are said, no matter what the reason, even if they are not true words.

    I’ve actually made a list of things to clue me in that I’m ramping up. I can’t catch my breath, I hold my pens way tighter, I have so many great ideas that I can’t move because it’s impossible to decide which is best, interrupting and talking fast obviously, thinking everyone likes me and I’m doing wonderful. The joke is that if by the end of the day I look back and see that I’ve had an absolutely great day, that I got along with everyone, my (chronic) pain didn’t even bother me and I got so much done, it’s time to take an anti-psychotic because that just doesn’t happen, lol.

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